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When is random not so random? For Sebastian it occasionally happens on the day he heads into town to take care of some errands. Pay a bill or two, fill a basket with items from his grocery list, grabbing an ice cream on the way to the bus stop. Just another seemingly ordinary day as he finds a good seat and settles in for the twenty minute ride back home.
But a quarter into his commute and Sebastian’s typical day turns into something a lot more special, a lot more bittersweet. On these days of running errands he doesn’t really keep track of the time, just going about his day and knowing he’ll arrive home sometime before evening. But on this particular afternoon he realizes it’s just after 3 o’clock when a half dozen or so high schoolers get on the bus, one of them choosing a seat beside him.
She’s quite different than her peers, quiet, respectful, just sitting there in her cleanly pressed uniform, taking out a paperback to read while the obnoxious kids swipe away at their cell phones and curse up a storm.
Being a reader himself Sebastian’s curious as to what the young girl is reading but dares not ask as he fears his desire will show through, to then be branded as a perversion of society.
The universe, how cruel it is. He had lost his own innocence to a whore a lifetime ago after having experienced his first couple of decades of life timid and shy around the opposite sex and therefore delayed in human intimacy. Eventually he caught up, but in time came thoughts of what he had missed out on. That miraculous time in a girl’s life when she’s about to open herself up to womanhood, following hormones, not her parents advice. Following a boy’s sly tongue, not her inner voice of reason.
What greater gift to receive than that of a person’s innocence? A question that had come to Sebastian too late, for he was now an adult, only allowed to couple with other adults, none of which held such a gift to give. More than the physical it was the emotional part that intrigued Sebastian so, that level of trust of placing one’s purity into another’s hands, those guiding hands ever so gently taking the inexperienced over the threshold both physically and soulfully. At least that’s how he’d treat such a priceless gift. Indeed, there could be no greater gift.
A thought, a desire that had haunted Sebastian ever sense, especially during times like these, so close this innocent was that the sides of their thighs were touching, those delicate elegant hands having yet to be held, those precious lips as she reads to herself having never been kissed. Yet she was right on the verge of losing it all, any day now some young punk who’d have no idea of the true treasure before him would pluck her from the virginal garden as he fumbled his way through youth in his conquest to taste, no, make that gorge, taking no time to savor, as many of his female counterparts as he could.
So close yet so very far as this forbidden flower sat beside Sebastian like a lamb guaranteed to be slaughtered before the school semester was up. How he wished such thoughts of having her, of softly guiding her into womanhood weren’t so taboo. A commandment not even in the Ten Commandments, this society which held such decree to such esteem willfully ignoring the fact that their Savior’s own mother was the same age of this tender flower sitting beside him now. A society that rather have their innocent youth throw away such and in so doing to remember back on their first time in regret, not fondness.
And so there was nothing Sebastian could do but mourn the loss of the innocence of this girl just before she was to lose it.